I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
