Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
