There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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