I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I would fuck him just for his dog
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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