I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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