I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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