it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
