Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Such a big mess for such a small penis
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
