i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
