He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
