i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
