I accidentally had phone sex last night
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
