wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
In America we eat man semen.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
