Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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