What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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