coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
