is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
