i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
