How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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