he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
