so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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