did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
