I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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