going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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