He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
