Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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