well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
