Porn is love you can see.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
