I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
