so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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