so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
