so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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