dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
