That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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