i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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