so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
