Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
