How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
