Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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