So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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