Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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