you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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