More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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