He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
