i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
