For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
