She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
