Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
