i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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