I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
