its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
