I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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