I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
And then he peed in my hair
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