So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
