very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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